Doris writes: “Inspired by Gene Fodor’s British Car dicta, I thought you might like an addition in Wheel Tracks. I have had this tacked to the garage wall for several years and every word of it is true.”
You probably own an English car if…
- You know that:
- A “bonnet” is not a lady’s head covering
- A “hood” does not cover the engine
- A “spanner” does not span anything
- A “boot” is not a cowboy’s footwear
- You always automatically distrust anyone named Lucas.
- You always park facing downhill.
- People ask how many cars you own and the number contains fractions.
- Any discussions of a trip, long or short, always contain references to breakdowns.
- You tell your spouse you were out until 3 am because your car broke down – and they believe you.
- You call Moss Motors and they recognize your voice.
- You reply immediately with month, day and year when asked when your car was manufactured but have to stop and think how old your kids are.
- Your idea of a perfect gift is a part for your car – it doesn’t matter what part, as you will eventually use it.
- You buy Castrol by the case – not because it’s on sale but because you need that much on hand.
- Your favorite TV network is PBS, not because it’s intellectually stimulating but because with all the BBC programming you get to see a lot more British cars.
- You actually like the smell of Liquid Wrench.(Courtesy of Mini Owners of America).