Here at Allenwood, where I now live, the majority of the residents eat dinner at night at tables of six. One night we were discussing dopey mistakes we had made and Evelyn told us this one:
She was shopping one Saturday and came home, parked the car in the parking lot, gathered up her groceries and came inside. There was a minor snow shower or two that night and Sunday morning. All the cars Sunday morning were lightly dusted with snow, except hers. “That’s funny” she thought, but maybe the north-west wind had just happened to clear the snow off. She didn’t go out at all Sunday. Monday morning, more errands, so she walked down to her car with the keys in her purse, she thought. To her surprise, the car was unlocked. She got in and saw the key in the ON position in the ignition and the engine was running! The car had been running since Saturday with the heater on! She raced to the nearest gas station and told them to “Fill it up!”

Another one (nothing to do with cars) of my daughter Linda:
She was painting the bathroom and had gotten to where she had to paint behind the toilet and sink. She put a towel on the toilet lid and set the paint can on it. Carefully dipping her brush in the can, she knelt down and stretched forward to paint. Her shoulder unknowingly pulled the towel and the full can of paint down on her shoulders and head! She let out a scream and her teenaged son came running in. Appraising the situation at a glance, he said “Hold it, Ma, I don’t want to miss this! I’ll get my camera!” Linda pointed out to us that thank God it was a quart of latex paint and not a gallon…

And, so in closing, I quote Oscar Wilde “Be yourself. Everybody else has already been taken.”