How Far Is Too Far?

You’ve all seen that sign that says, “Unless you are naked, don’t touch this car!” Years ago, when I first saw it (back in a time when I was trying to impress my soon to be husband), I wondered why anyone would take and put such a sign on their beautiful car. Was it a way to trick people into removing their clothes for the treat of touching their car? I never did see anyone fall for that but I can tell you, I keep my eyes open! What I’m really getting to is the cars that owners guard like Fort Knox. You can spot them at most car shows. They are the ones trailered, and covered. Oh, they tease you a bit by dropping the wheel covers to give you a seductive look at those wide white walls. They keep a duster in hand at all times. Ever vigilant to the speck of dust or the errant finger print as they circle the car, caressing the fenders with their duster. Stopping only long enough to survey the crowd for any hint of someone who might step too close! What I imagine Homeland Security to be like when the President is in town. But, unlike the President, he will take questions- in fact welcomes them. “What about the paint job?” In great detail, he will tell you about the 23 coats of hand rubbed acrylic gloss at the cost of 213 hours and $28,000. And then swing into many other details, all the while scanning the crowd for anyone that might breech the perimeter! Come on, lighten up a little. These cars are supposed to be fun. Fun to me is not taking your car out of hiding once or twice a year and spending your time worrying that something or one might touch it! I REALLY do appreciate all the precious time and money spent but there is a limit! (in my opinion). Most of these cars never saw a paved road and if you could ask Dr Horatio Jackson, some never saw a road at all! I TOTALLY agree they need to be respected and “gently” used. Don’t get me wrong- would I give my 3 year old granddaughter, Addison, a candy apple and say “go play in Grandpa’s car?” Or give Cooper, our 6 year old grandson, a couple of die cast cars and tell him that the fenders of the ’37 make a great car track? Probably not, but on the other hand…………………. Just kidding! I get it! But I have to tell you, there isn’t much better than having your grandchildren come to a car show, “drive your car” and at the end of the day, sitting on the running boards- proclaim, “Grandpa, we LOVE car shows.” So for my cars, lift the hood, open the trunk, lean in to get a good look at the dashboard and don’t forget the odometer! But, PLEASE, keep your clothes on! My grandchildren are at an impressionable age and come to think of it, “so am I!” Yes, after 39 years, I’m still trying to impress him!

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